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Alas, it was a big weekend. I’m doing something I haven’t done in a decade and I’m kind of nervous about it. I am going for an overnight trip.
I know some of you are thinking, “Is it big? Really, Christy?,
But this. It is huge. As you know, Matt (if you’re new here, Matt is my husband) has MS and has gotten to the point where I have to do pretty much everything for him. So I spend my days taking care of him and working on home projects. And from the moment I wake up in the morning to the time I go to bed every night at 12:30 to go to bed I have things to do for him throughout the day.
So the idea of going away from home overnight didn’t seem possible for a long time. In fact, I haven’t been away from Matt overnight in over a decade.
The last time I was away from him, we still lived in a condo. I don’t remember the exact year, but Rust-Oleum invited me to go to North Carolina (I think) with several other bloggers for a weekend to test their new products. I was excited for the opportunity and we hired a company called Visiting Angels to stay with Matt while I was gone.
Well, it was a disaster, and that weekend was one of the most stressful things I’ve ever endured. The company sent a person (as we requested) who was an RN to stay with Matt. We filled out all of their paperwork, completed all of the interview requirements, and everything that they needed to do while I was gone. One of those requirements is to feed our dog and take him out at least three times a day.
All was well, and the man showed up to the airport, needing to leave. But somehow, the company failed to tell him about our dog, and this guy is afraid of big dogs. So I’m trying to get out the door to go to the airport while the guy who’s supposed to stay with Matt is scoffing about our dog and saying there’s no way he’s staying in the condo with the dog.
I honestly don’t remember how it happened. I blocked it out of my mind, I think. I don’t remember if he acted on his fear, or if they sent someone else, or if my dog went to stay with my mom. This is probably the last option. But needless to say, I was going to shreds and was completely exhausted and that set the tone for the entire weekend, not just for me, but for Matt as well.
I don’t remember many details. Again, I blocked them. But at some point I remember getting a phone call from Matt. I don’t remember the problem, but being several hours away by plane, in a state several states away from Texas, and on a multi-day trip with two more days to come back, I was totally freaked out.
After that horrible experience, I vowed never to do it again. That’s why I never went on blogging trips, never went to blogging conferences. While other bloggers travel, I stay home because I get invited to go here and there by companies, to network with each other and with companies. I turned Matt down every chance I got because the stress of leaving Matt with someone else at night wasn’t worth it to me.
So when my church announced their first annual women’s retreat a few months ago, I thought nothing of it. My brain automatically dictates anything I need to go through at night. In my mind, that’s just not a possibility.
But after I gave it some thought and pitched the idea to Matt, we decided to see if we could work out the details so I could go. And today! I’m spending tonight away from Matt for the first time in a decade.
I’m scared, but he’s fine. 😀 And since it’s just one night, my mom stays with Matt. Since I will be away most of the time in the evenings and on Saturdays, Matt will actually have very little maintenance. She has to make sure his water cup is full and she makes him a meal. And the Cooper is also very low maintenance.
So it’s a big deal. One night isn’t a big deal for most people, but in our situation, it’s quite monumental. I pray that all goes well and that my mom and Matt have a peaceful and stress-free 24 hours together. If not, at least this time I’ll be only an hour away.
So here’s to new things and stepping out of our comfort zone.
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