Stages of Grief: How to Cope with Loss and Pain?

Sadness is inevitable as we go through life. People express grief in different ways – some cry, some are in denial, others may withdraw from the situation and those around them. However, in order to deal with grief constructively, it is important to understand the different stages of grief.

A study published in Frontiers in Psychology Swiss-American psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler emphasized Ross’s model of grief. Ross’s model says there are five stages of grief, questioning it for its effectiveness, and better evidence-based alternative models. To understand the different patterns and better understand grief, Health Shots consulted Dr. Ankita Priyadarshini, Consultant Psychiatrist and Behavioral Medicine.

What is grief?

Grief is a deep emotional response to loss, including many feelings such as sadness, disbelief, anger, and despair. “It’s a natural and complex process that people go through when facing significant life changes or the death of a loved one,” she explains.

What is the difference between grief and sorrow? Not completely. This is a strong version of sadness. Grief happens daily, but grief lasts longer.

What are the 5 stages of grief?

According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the 5 stages of grief provide a framework for understanding the emotional journey of people experiencing loss:

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1. Denial

In this initial stage there is shock and disbelief. People may struggle to accept the reality of the loss, using denial as a defense mechanism to cope with overwhelming emotions.

2. Anger

As the impact of the loss sinks in, people may express frustration, anger, or rage. Anger serves as a way to externalize and release the emotional pain associated with loss.

3. Bargaining

At this stage, individuals try to negotiate or make deals in an attempt to reverse or minimize the loss. It reflects a desire for control and a search for meaning in adverse situations.

4. Depression

A sense of profound sadness and emptiness becomes more apparent. Individuals may experience loneliness, helplessness, and deep emotional weight when faced with the reality of loss.

5. Acceptance

This final step involves finding a way to overcome the loss and move forward. This does not mean forgetting or being unaffected, but rather integrating the reality of loss into one’s life.

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What are the 7 stages of grief?

The 7 Stages of Grief, an extension of David Kessler, and provide a more nuanced understanding of the grieving process

1. Shock

This stage involves the initial impact of loss, often accompanied by feelings of numbness and disbelief. It serves as a buffer for the overwhelming emotions that follow.

2. Denial

Similar to Kübler-Ross’s model, this stage involves resisting acceptance and clinging to the hope that the loss may not be real. Denial provides a temporary escape from emotional pain.

3. Anger

People express their emotional distress through anger, directed inward or outward. This step allows for the release of pent-up frustration and the injustice of the loss.

4. Bargaining

As a coping mechanism, individuals may attempt to negotiate or negotiate with a higher power to reverse or minimize the loss. It reflects a desperate search for a way to regain control.

5. Depression

A stage where the depth of grief becomes apparent. Individuals are gripped by the profound impact of loss, experiencing feelings of helplessness, isolation, and intense grief.

6. Testing

In this stage, individuals seek new ways of living without the presence of what or whom they have lost. It involves experimentation and adjustment to a changed reality.

7. Acceptance

Ultimately, people understand the reality of loss. Acceptance is not forgetting or minimizing the significance of a loss, but rather integrating it into one’s life story.

What is the most challenging stage of grief?

Acceptance is often considered the most challenging stage of grief, Dr. Priyadarshini says, because it requires people to face the reality of the loss and embrace life without the presence of what or who has been lost.

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How long does each stage of grief last?

Nothing is fixed. Grief is a highly individualized process, and there is no predetermined timetable for getting through each stage. Allowing oneself the time and space needed for healing is essential, explains Dr. Priyadashini. People can move back and forth between stages, and the grieving process is certainly not linear.

How to overcome grief?

Constructive ways to help oneself during grief include a holistic approach to mental and emotional well-being, says Dr. Priyadarshini.

1. Seek support

Connect with friends, family or support groups to share feelings and experiences. Human connection provides comfort and understanding during difficult times.

2. Professional help

Consider therapy or counseling to seek guidance from a mental health professional. A trained therapist can provide strategies to cope with grief and provide a supportive space for expression.

3. Self care

Prioritize physical and mental well-being by engaging in activities that bring comfort and pleasure. Maintain a balanced lifestyle with proper nutrition, exercise and adequate rest.

4. Express emotions

Find healthy outlets to express grief, such as journaling, art, or talking to a trusted friend. Acknowledging and expressing emotions is critical to the healing process.

5. Establish a routine

Create a structured routine to provide a sense of stability during turbulent times. Routine provides predictability and helps manage the overwhelming nature of grief.

6. Make a memory

Celebrate and honor a life or experience lost in meaningful ways. Creating rituals or memories can contribute to the healing process.

7. Be patient

Understand that healing takes time, and it’s okay to feel a range of emotions without judgment. Give yourself the grace to navigate the grieving process at your own pace.