Emotional blackmail in a relationship: 5 signs and how to deal with it

When you are in love, you get lost in swirling emotions. It sometimes takes your mind off reality. It feels surreal to imagine the worst in your partner, especially when all you’ve done is give them love. Sometimes, things take a dark turn in a relationship and you lose your individuality because you are so afraid of losing your loved one! If you suddenly feel that your partner is manipulating you or making you feel guilty for things you never did or trying to instill fear in you – you are a victim of emotional blackmail. The worst part is that you may not even recognize these signs if you don’t know how emotional blackmailing works and what you can do about it.

What is emotional blackmailing in a relationship?

Emotional blackmail in a relationship occurs when one partner tries to control the other’s behavior using manipulation, fear, guilt or other emotional tools, explains psychiatrist Dr Yuvraj Pant. A person who tolerates another person’s arbitrary behavior without showing any reaction is a victim of emotional blackmail. The nature of this manipulation technique is often so subtle that it becomes difficult for the victim to recognize or address it.

How to spot the signs of emotional blackmail from your partner

1. Guilt trips

Does your partner make you feel guilty all the time? A common tactic is for someone to emotionally blackmail you and try to send you on wild guilt trips. If they make you feel like you owe them something, you should take that as a sign that they’re making you feel guilty about something you didn’t do.

Also Read: 5 Things You Should Never Feel Guilty About

2. You feel manipulated

Emotional blackmail is extremely toxic to any relationship. Playing the victim card when someone is manipulating their partner is the most basic form of manipulation. Even the praise or affection you receive is often a reward of approval, and then true praise.

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3. You feel threatened

Your partner may threaten you or give you ultimatums if you don’t listen to them. You may feel trapped and have no choice but to do what they ask you to do. Even when you try to leave your partner, they warn you that if you leave them, they will destroy you or threaten you with something else.

4. You get the silent treatment

Incorrect communication or affection in the form of punishment is a classic sign of emotional blackmail. The victim may be forced to apologize or meet demands to end the silence.

Also Read: Why are you not being kind when you give someone the silent treatment?

5. Continuous criticism

People who emotionally blackmail other people are constantly criticizing, belittling their partner, or undermining their partner’s self-esteem. This makes it easier for them to manipulate and stay in the relationship longer.

How to deal with emotional blackmail?

Emotional blackmail can poison your relationship. Here are some expert-approved ways to deal with emotional blackmail in a relationship:

1. Spot the red flags

The first step is to recognize problematic behavior and red flags in a relationship. If your partner doesn’t have the best interest in the relationship right, it’s a sign that you should break up before it’s too late.

2. Set boundaries

Boundaries are important to every relationship. Maintaining boundaries is key to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. When you feel like your partner is emotionally blackmailing you, make it clear to them and tell them your boundaries. When you set boundaries, you maintain transparency in the relationship, which makes it harder for them to change you.

3. Prioritize self-love

Self-love is the key to finding yourself in a relationship that was doomed from the start. Take care of yourself by doing what you love. When you love yourself enough, you don’t depend on someone else for your sense of self, and that helps you break free from the clutches of a manipulative partner.

Also Read: How to love yourself in a relationship

4. Walk away

Is your relationship bringing you down? Does it affect your physical and mental health? Ask yourself if your relationship is healthy or not. If your relationship is too much to handle and manage, you need to recognize the signs and stay out of the toxic relationship if you can.

5. Speak for yourself

Emotional blackmail can damage you permanently and affect your mental health. If you don’t speak up and address these issues, it will scar you for life. You may start living with fear and anxiety. Raise your voice for yourself to stop emotional blackmail and protect your image.

6. Stop blaming yourself!

When your partner is emotionally blackmailing you they blame you for everything but that doesn’t mean you start blaming yourself. It’s a strategy and you have to find a way to get out of it. The best way to resolve a toxic relationship like this is to present your opinion so you can avoid manipulation.