How to Love Yourself in a Relationship: 5 Self-Love Tips

Being in love may seem like the best feeling in the world, but it’s even better when you love yourself too! American singer-songwriter Miley Cyrus’ Grammy Award-winning Flowers has been hailed as a self-love anthem, reminding how every woman can love herself more than her partner. But in the real world, women are often forgotten. Instead, many women lose themselves. They can kill their own personality while trying to maintain attraction, love and peace. But it’s important not to forget self-love or let your personality fade behind the gloss of love. You must learn how to love yourself in a relationship without thinking about broken relationships.

Why is self-love important in relationships?

Miley Cyrus emphasized the idea of ​​self-love when she sang: “I can buy flowers, write my name in the sand; talk to me for hours, tell me things you don’t understand; I can dance, hold my hand…yeah, love better than you.”

According to mental health expert Dr. Chandini Tughnite, literature directly addresses issues of gaining independence, building self-worth, and embracing resilience in the face of relationship adversity or betrayal. The singer also lends her platform to normalize emotions that are often stigmatized. “It encourages people to firmly establish one’s standards, boundaries and inherent values ​​instead of lowering or suppressing themselves in efforts to earn love or avoid abandonment (when in a relationship),” Tugnait told Health Shots.

Therefore, it is important that you embrace your quirks, take time for yourself, develop independence, set boundaries, do things you love, and do self-reflection.

Relationship coach Radhika Mohta creatively explains: “You can be the cake and anyone else just the icing!” What she’s trying to say is that people should continue to invest in their personal growth whether they’re in a relationship or not. “When people break up, their heart opens up to a world of possibilities. They’re able to make more time for themselves. But even when people are in relationships, even without a partner, it’s important to have me-time, prioritize self-care, and things to do and people to go out with. If you are going to pin all your hopes on a single person as a friend, sous chef, mentor, therapist, crying shoulder, remember that one person is not your village. You need to have your own support system,” Mohta told Health Shots.

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At the same time, it’s important to understand that self-love doesn’t translate into thinking you don’t need a partner in life. Self-love isn’t okay when your mind is clouded by thoughts like, “I don’t need anyone else in life, I’m perfectly fine for the rest of my life.” ‘Me, me, me’ may never work. Humans strive for connections, community, and a sense of belonging. What they need to remember is to set proper boundaries,” Mohta adds.

Tips for loving yourself in a relationship

Try following these self-love tips and you’ll feel like a better version of yourself, whether you’re in a relationship or not. Because your self-esteem should not depend on another person.

1. Embrace your flaws

It is important to know that we will always have some flaws to work on, yet we should be as compassionate with ourselves as with our best friends or well-wishers. No one is perfect, including you and your partner. Accept yourself as you are and encourage your partner to do the same. Your unique qualities make you good. So, own up!

Also Read: 6 Ways to Overcome Self-Criticism Because You Are Totally Worth It!

2. Create a self-care routine

Work on a self-care routine, preferably a morning routine and a night routine that serve as books for the day. It allows you to mark your own calendar for what’s important to you and calms your five senses. From a nature walk, journaling, a favorite playlist, starting the day with a cup of coffee to ending the day with a skin care routine, re-reading an old book, your favorite candle can spread a light scent in the room. Treating yourself with small rituals that make you happy allows you to share that joy in the relationship.

3. Be curious

Stay interested and make your life interesting to build self-love and maintain a healthy romantic relationship. When you take the time to pursue some of your personal interests, you get away from each other to experience what side of you they bring out. Too often, we take each other for granted. But spending some time away allows us to come back with renewed enthusiasm and stories to share. After all, you don’t have to have 100 percent overlap in your interests, but you can always introduce each other to a different side of your world.

4. Maintain your support system

Radhika Mohta quotes couples therapist, Esther Perel, “Nobody matters”. It takes a village to lead a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. Keep in touch with old friends and make that trip a success, make time to attend your grandma’s 80th birthday celebrations even if she can’t join you, and plan a day-long trek with colleagues. You don’t have to plan everything with your spouse just because you’re in a relationship!

5. Be mindful of the content you consume

It is easy to consume OTT content, social media, and TV content and think those imaginary friends are living the best life while you are living a normal and boring life. It’s easy to fall into the comparison trap in relationships. Do what works for your relationship, not someone else as your benchmark. Maybe your partner is on the defensive and you get half-a-year time together but not daily time in person. Or he can work from home but she has to be in the office every day. Therefore, what is expected from each of you is not a copy-paste of the gender-stereotyped roles you see in TV dramas.

While doing all this, make sure you feel seen, heard, valued, and understood as you age with your partner!