8 Bad Communication Habits to Break for Healthy Communication

“Hi! How are you?” sounds like a great conversation-starter. But many times, it’s just a ‘good!’ And then you’re mentally scrambling for topics to chat about! What’s even worse is when the conversation stalls awkwardly because of a difference of opinion, right? The solution lies in knowing the tricks to having healthy conversations by breaking bad conversation habits.

Good conversations are meaningful conversations between people. It doesn’t have to be serious all the time, but it must be attractive. This is where conversational habits come in. One inaccurate statement is enough to turn a good conversation into a rude and awkward one. Health Shots catches up with counseling psychologist Anu Goel, who tells us the art of having good conversations and what not to say.

What is healthy communication?

A healthy conversation is when people are comfortable enough to discuss their problems. “Many times these can be difficult issues to discuss openly with anyone,” explains Goel. Good communication allows not only to discuss such matters, but also to follow through on conclusions.

What are common barriers to good communication?

There are some things that are absolute no-nos when it comes to having constructive conversations with people.

1. Inability to listen to others

Communication is a two-way process where ideas and beliefs are exchanged. Therefore, it is integral that you pay attention when the other person is speaking.

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2. Different communication styles

We meet people from all walks of life and the way people speak is different. “Sometimes, we meet people with language barriers who are able to express themselves in a language that maybe we can understand, but are very relatable,” says Goel. This is often a barrier to good communication.

3. Lack of trust in people and transparency

It is important to trust the other person when communicating with them. A lack of trust often leaves you wondering if the other person has your best interests at heart. “It can also lead to suspicion, jealousy and other harmful thoughts that are not conducive to healthy communication,” says Goel.

Also Read: 6 Tips To Ease Your Way Through A Difficult Conversation

You must avoid conversational habits

1. Being ready with a response

It is important to listen and understand what a person has to say without forming our own opinions and views. “Too often, in order to sound smart, we are quick to share our judgment on a person’s situation and this can often seem to protect them. They may withdraw and not share the rest of their problem,” says Goel.

2. Interrupting the other person

To speak our point of view, jumping into a person’s train of thought is too rude to hold a conversation. It can also end the conversation on a bad note. “Often we don’t realize how much we disrupt others. We might think it’s once or twice, but in reality it could be a lot more. It affects trust and respect in the relationship,” says Goel. It’s important to pause for a minute or two after a person finishes speaking, to continue the conversation with your story.

3. Not pausing while speaking

We often don’t give the other person time to respond to what we say. “Conversation is about being intimate with the other person rather than just saying what we feel. So, it’s important to speak at a pace where the other person can understand what we’re saying and also have the opportunity to intervene and respond,” explains Goel.

4. Always trying to be right

“I told you so” is a must-avoid step in conversation. This step often leads to shutting the other person down completely and ending the conversation. “It doesn’t always have to be about winning an argument. It’s important to give constructive advice only when asked. There should be room for the other person to be heard in the conversation,” says Goel.

5. Overlapping conversations

You won’t always have a ‘worst day’ or a ‘best experience’. When we start competing with our conversation partner, talking about how our day is worse than theirs, it often leads to an argument instead of a healthy conversation.

Also Read: How to set boundaries with friends and why

6. Respond immediately

In conversation it is imperative that one listens and then gives our answer. “You have to focus not only on listening, but also on understanding what the other person is saying, where he or she is coming from, their state of mind; Then come up with your response. “An instant response to an ad does no good,” explains Goel.

7. Ignoring the other person’s reaction

There may be times when the other person doesn’t react the way we think. They may be offended by what you say, or what you say may make them uncomfortable or sad. “You must be able to observe these cues of the person. Your replies should be based on how the person is reacting, speak accordingly,” says Goel.

8. Lying through conversation

We may find ourselves giving advice about things we don’t know. “It’s important to admit that you don’t know something. If you don’t know something, say you don’t. It doesn’t make you smaller, but at least you can give the right answer,” says Goel.