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An anxious attachment not only lowers your self-esteem and self-confidence, but also hinders the growth of your relationship. Here’s how to deal with it.
Relationship problems are common, and people deal with them in different ways. Sometimes, when you are so attached to your partner, you knowingly or unknowingly ignore all their flaws and stay with them. This behavior is called anxious attachment. This manifests as a constant need for reassurance in a relationship, a fear of abandonment and a tendency to cling to your partner. Anxiously attached people may interpret minor setbacks in their relationship as signs of a breakup, leading to anxiety. Anxious attachment can be seen in any relationship, not only with your partner, but with your parents, siblings, friends, etc.
Health Shots contacted Psychiatrist Dr. Gaurav Gupta. According to him, anxiously attached individuals may seek validation and attention from their partners, yet struggle with feelings of inadequacy.
What are the signs of anxious attachment?
An anxiously attached person fears loneliness and becomes very emotionally dependent on their partner. This lowers their self-esteem, making them feel insecure in a relationship. Here are the signs you should not ignore:
1. Emotional roller coaster
People experiencing anxious attachment may experience major mood swings. Positive moments can quickly turn to depression without the right reason. These frequent mood swings can significantly affect emotional well-being and relationships.
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2. Self-observation and adaptation
People with anxious attachment may hold themselves responsible for all the flaws in their relationship. As a result, they start acting differently to make sure their partner is comfortable. Feeling compromised and validated can affect their mental health.
3. Fear of abandonment
Anxiously attached people exhibit possessiveness and jealousy. As a result, trust issues can arise, along with the fear that their partner will be seen as someone better. These concerns can seriously affect both mental health and interpersonal relationships.
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4. Intermittent and dependent
One may lose their true individuality by preferring constant communication and companionship with their partner. They may feel restless if they are unable to bond with their partner.
5. Unfulfilled satisfaction
People may struggle for satisfaction, relying heavily on their partner for happiness. Even gestures of care from their partner may not satisfy them.
Side effects of anxious attachment in a relationship
This can seriously damage relationships, reducing their chances of success. If one partner is overly anxious, it affects both partners and hinders personal growth. For example, if the partner works long hours, the anxious person may be constantly paying attention, which can lead to depression and affect mental health and work.
Furthermore, expressing desires in such a situation can become a challenge. An anxious partner may become negative, ignoring efforts and hoping to be understood without properly communicating their thoughts. However, healthy relationships require open communication.
It is very common to ignore the red flags of a relationship. An anxious partner may adapt to avoid conflict without losing their identity. In healthy relationships, addressing concerns openly promotes growth and understanding.
How to deal with anxious attachment?
Dealing with anxious attachment requires understanding and taking appropriate steps to avoid emotional conflict.
1. Make it a priority to distance yourself from this attachment style, recognizing that its effects are detrimental to your mental health.
2. Focus on activities that make you happy and bring you joy. Engage in hobbies, spend time with supportive friends, or explore new experiences to boost your sense of contentment.
3. When partners can’t give you the attention and support you need, stop worrying and spend your time doing something productive instead. If fear is driving your connection, it’s important to address the issue immediately.
4. Take proactive steps to improve your well-being by prioritizing self-care.
5. Maintain a balanced diet, stay hydrated and prioritize activities that promote mental clarity and resilience.
6. Make it a priority to develop self-love and recognize your self-worth. By valuing yourself, you can overcome anxious attachment.
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